Power must be truly earned if it is to last. Think about the power you felt riding a bike; the freedom, the control in your moment on that bike. You had to exercise your mind and body to keep the wheels spinning and heading the right direction. Oh, the power of that relationship. You usually had a destination in mind before you jumped on the bike (Yes, jumped…). You had someplace, something or someone to see. You had a purpose. You were looking for fun! You experienced fun both riding the bike, and upon arriving at your destination. You felt good taking care of your own needs and desires. Occasionally you crashed your bike, but, that didn’t keep you from taking care of your need to be somewhere or with someone that brought you happiness.

Did you ride your bike to: fish, swim, attend art classes, go to the library, go to a movie, buy fabric, buy music, buy a soda, play the piano, visit a relative or friend? Whatever the reason was that you rode your bike (sometimes to the point of exhaustion) you always earned power. You felt empowered taking care of the things you liked to do. Perhaps years later you rode your bike to work and the joy of the ride might have perished. Discontentment appeared as you traded the pleasure of riding around to the necessity of riding to work. You now spent more time working and less time enjoying life.

Relationships are like a bike ride. You must first jointly see a destination (what it is you want together). Then, you must each pedal the bike (put in effort), and you must park the bike with a kick-stand (take the time to enjoy each other). If you don’t use the power of the kick-stand to support the relationship you default to laziness and the relationship may suffer, much like a bike gets scratched when you toss it to ground.

So, do you use the kick-stand? Meaning, do you protect the relationship with love for one another? You must take care of each other, just like you did your treasured bike. Concern, for a possession or a person, is equally important, and provides endurance.

If you are struggling in a relationship, take a little trip today. Imagine yourself on a bike ride. Where would you go? What would you do? What pleasure are you missing? Can you provide and receive that pleasure in your relationship? Then, do it!