How I Married the Man of My Choice

“Love is the greatest gift of all”. Throughout life we are bombarded with fantasies about love. Cinderella, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White…from the vision that I held from reading these childhood romance stories I was excited as I believed that I had married my “Prince Charming”. By the time that I married him, he was living in Africa and a devout Pentecostal Christian who attended church services three times a week. As a woman who was reading the bible from the beginning to the end at the time and practicing celibacy I believed that my husband was a “saint”.

I remember the first time I ever saw him while attending a spiritual convention during the summer of 1988. I was mesmerized and drawn to a charismatic gentleman that I noticed sitting across the room looking totally debonair. I remember thinking there he is “that’s my husband”. After the speaker’s presentation I observed him standing in the hallway surrounded by five females. I remember thinking to myself that he would never notice me because black men were traditionally flattered by that type of attention from Caucasian women and often snubbed women of my race. So I went on with the plans of my day.

That evening back at home in my condominium I prepared for the dinner dance which was at the convention hotel. I dressed in my favorite color, I wore a purple designer sweater, a brown form fitting leather skirt, belted by a brown belt at the waist and layers upon layers of silver jewelry with ornate dangling silver earrings. Immediately upon entering the five star hotel I saw him again. This time he went out of his way to get introduced to me. Ironically the gentleman who introduced us was a Nigerian that I had dated in the past.

My new Nigerian friend lived out of town and had just returned to the hotel from a tourist visit to the Hard Rock Café which is downtown Chicago. He had a bag of souvenirs… Once we were introduced he excused himself and returned to his room to prepare for the dinner dance. Inside the ballroom I sat with some of my international friends and was mesmerized again when my new friend walked into the room looking like “Prince Charming”.

He was wearing a white tuxedo jacket with black tuxedo pants. He walked directly over to the table where I was sitting and asked permission to sit next to me. It was at that moment that our romantic dance began.

Five years later I married him in Victor Island, Nigeria.