My search for truth.

I was born in 1974 My father was an abusive alcoholic and was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic Please forgive my spelling. I grew up on a farm ware I worked 10 hours a day during the summer picking rocks out of the field for my family at age 7-14 When I asked my father about the birds and the bees he gave me a porno. At age eleven my father sexually molested me when he was drunk. I felt horrid over the whole thing and felt like it was my fault for a great number of years. He only did it once but once was enough. My father hated himself and everyone around him he destroyed my self esteem I felt worthless all the time. I was diagnosed with a learning disability in first grade and back then learning disabilities were not that prevalent so I was stuck in with the MRDD kids which is the mentally retarded children. For the first 2 years after that the room started filling up with all sorts of kids there was not one grade represented but all grades were. When I graduated high school I was tested at having a 2nd grade education in math and a 3rd grade education in English. I was told by my guidance counselor that I wouldn’t make it through college. but I went anyway. I had always been searching for truth and the best place to find it was college and I worked my tail off and brought both those grade levels up to 12th grade. I spent 8 years in college. At Kent State University on my search for truth I used to pray to God every night “God show me the truth no matter how how much it hurt me. Well I had discovered the truth of the human identity. And I used that truth to see if my mother had unconditional love for me. Well she didn’t and that was to much for me to take. I drank a bottle of sky vodka and gassed myself in a running car I was found the next day by my sister I was life flighted to Metro Hospital and I died twice and was revived. That truth turned me away from god. I transferred to Bowling green state university where I was working on a degree in special education for learning disabled and developmentally handicapped. But in my last semester I dropped out because I had become an alcoholic. I had felt so miserable alcohol was my only release. I had attempted suicide 9 times I took pills 5 times gassed myself once held a shotgun to my head and pulled the trigger with my foot and it dry fired and it kept on dry firing because I only had one shell. Tried electrocution and all that did was destroy a good clock radio and cook a breaker in my apartment and called the police and tried to get them to shoot me. At that time I was sentenced to a rehab and had gotten a large land share profit about 93000 dollars and While I was at this rehab I had gotten back into religion. and ended up giving everything away and donated thousands to the rehab and helped as many as I could. I thought If I was poor I would find the truth which is what religion told me. I had gotten out of the rehab because the person that ran it said that Lakewood was going to put me in a mental institution for the remainder of my probation because Lakewood was the city that I tried to get to shoot me. I did not stick around I had started drinking out of fear and anger for Lakewood and all the pain and agony I went through there is a lot more I went through over a misdemeanor. But I have been taking to much time already. I had a friend and I met him at the rehab and he and I went down south we were heading for Florida but we stopped in New Orleans. When we got to New Orleans this friend of mine turned into the devil and I had gotten drunk passed out when I woke up my birth certificate social security card ID and all my possessions were gown along with this so called friend. He took everything and left me on a side walk in New Orleans. This had taken place One month after Hurricane Katrina had hit. I quickly got up and started working for people making cash everyday. When the Mexicans moved in the cost of labor dropped to around 60 to 80 a day for manual labor. I slept in a dumpsters for approximately 12 months behind an abandoned Win Dixie I had gotten stabbed 3 times and shot once from crack heads trying to rob me. I dug the bullet out of my own leg and packed it with gawz it later got infected and I spent 27 days in the hospital. I had pulled my own teeth with pliers because I didn’t have the money to go to the dentist when I was homeless. Ive slept under bridges in fields in tents. Ive eaten out of trash cans. Ive seen the most despicable things any human can do to another Ive seen people killed. When I was drinking out in front of a little store I shared my booze with some people and had gotten drugged. I woke up with no wallet my pants pulled down and I was raped. I Got up and went behind a house and took off my cloths and washed myself with the hose. Ive been beaten by 8 to 10 people who thought it was fun to beat a person with bricks and sticks 2 times. I had not eaten for 3 days once and went to 8 churches looking for help and non of them wanted to help me. They treated me like I was an infection. Even when I had explained my situation they wouldn’t even give me a can of food. The last church I went to the minister was walking out to his new Mercedes Benz and I had stopped him and told him I hadn’t eaten in 3 days could he give me some food. He Said “I am sorry I don’t want to break a hundred”. I had wandered around and was lost in the suburbs I had asked someone were I could find a store and they said about 10 blocks that way. So I started walking my whole body was shaking from alcohol withdrawals and I started violently blacking out. I had blacked out about 7 or 8 times I really don’t remember, and hit the pavement before I got to the store. I had it in my mind That I was going to steal some food. Well i blacked out again in front of the door and people started taking off my shoes and robbing me. The owner came out and ran them off he knelt down and asked me what was wrong I said I hadn’t eaten in 3 days an He picked me up and carried me into the store. As I sat there I told him my story and he began to weep he cleaned me up fed me gave me all the money in his pocket and drove me to a hotel and payed for a room for me. I had never in all my life ever been shown such care by someone I didn’t even know. Well as time went on I found myself homeless again I tried to work everyday but I would have to fight through 400 Mexicans to get work. It was hit or miss. I had been drinking one day out in front of a store and thought I was among friends as I bought a fifth of Skol Vodka and shared it when I got it back there was a little left and I drank it. I blacked out and woke up in the hospital six days later here those people thought I had money and hit me with the equivalence of 8 hits of liquid LSD. I was being attacked by evil entities as I was strapped to the hospital bed and I felt them biting me and hitting me. I seen the most horrific sights coming out of the walls at me. I seen dead people with their faces smashed in bleeding from there mouths standing over my hospital bed. All the while I didn’t know what was going on. I was scared out of my mind and couldn’t go any place because I was chained to a hospital bed. West Jefferson hospital brought in a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me clinically insane and on the 11th day in the hospital they were going to send me to a state maximum security mental institution. I had pulled out of it. and they resend ed the diagnosis and let me out after five more days chained up. When I first read Mark Hamilton’s book I was on the floor in awe at the amount of truth in that literature I am still reading the first book I have the second and the third is on its way. I have been recently tested for all diseases and I am clean across the board. Mark I just want to say if you have read my story Every word of it is true. I went through a lot more them what I stated here but I would have to write a book. I make 7000 a year I live in a trailer I eat buttered rice and peanut butter and jelly every day. Your books have changed my life to the better. I am a Neothink Warrior and My Name Is Raymond Neura Ive been beaten raped robed Shot stabbed Ive starved and been homeless I’ve been locked up and I now live in a trailer my life was my training there is nothing anyone can do to me that hasn’t already happened to me one way or another and I have nothing to loose. I am not afraid of anyone or anything. I am with you Mark Hamilton what you are preaching is the truth. That is all I ever wanted. All who have red this I am not looking for pity. Pity is the last thing I need. This is my story it is not good or bad it just is and it happened to me.

I urge you people don’t listen to what others are saying read the material for yourself learn and understand don’t be lazy and accept someones lies you need to question the material for yourself read it. There is no excuse for ignorance.