In my previous blog entitled “What is Love?” I wrote about what love is, and how I began my journey to find the love of my dreams. This blog will share some techniques that helped me put things into proper perspective and how they can help you as well. I will continue to share this journey with you as we learn what it takes to achieve the happiness you were always meant to have.
As I started looking at all my faults, I realized that this might seem like a really depressing task. One exercise that really helped me put everything into perspective was to create a chart (see example below).
| Positive Qualities & Traits I Have Now | Qualities and Traits I Would Like To Improve |
To make a chart for yourself you first need to get a large piece of paper and set it up like the example above.
Do you notice that I did not use any negative wording in the titles of the categories? Realize, that from this point forward we are going to stay on the positive side instead of focusing on only the negative. This is an important step in helping you see, accept, and love yourself honestly. There is no reason to get bogged down in negatives; this will only hamper your progress as you move forward. As Zig Ziglar, author of “See You At The Top” writes, “You must accept yourself before you can really like anyone else or before you can accept the fact that you deserve success and happiness.”
This is a very powerful statement when applied to all aspects of your life, but most importantly right now, while learning to love yourself and attract the true honest love of your life. If you do not accept yourself with all the qualities you would like to change as a good person who deserves the best that life has to offer in a relationship, then anyone you come in contact with, will not accept you as that good person either.
You might ask how I know this to be true?
I was once the type of person who was always able to put on a good face, but deep inside I did not hold my self in high regard. This caused so much pain and misery in my life and the lives of those around me.
After finally taking charge of my life and my own happiness, I completed this exercise, and I found out my good qualities far exceeded those I wanted to improve!
As a result of that I started looking at myself in a more positive light and noticed that others around me did the same. I was also able to be kinder to those around me and look for those common denominators that tied us all together. My outlook, on myself and my life as a whole, changed to a more positive one and every day I become just a little bit happier.
I encourage you, over the next few days or so, to take a good look at your self and love your self as the good person you are right now!
Be sure to stay tuned for our in depth journey to finding the love of our dreams!
Finally Found Love
Thank you for the compliment Angela! I too understand what it is like to be in a dominating relationship, which is part of why I am sharing this guide with others.
One thing that I have learned that I would like to share with you, is that when you are thinking about what you would like in a relationship, don’t focus on what you don’t want. I learned this the hard way.
I was in a relationship a while back and I was so concerned that the relationship would be abusive, that I was always thinking about that I did not want it to be abusive. And you know, I got exactly what I did not want, simply by having my focus on the negative.
Now I am not saying that this person would not have been a jerk if I had been thinking different thoughts. What I am saying is that I would have been in a better frame of mind and would have been able to handle the situation much better than I actually did. This of course would have saved me a whole lot of misery and anguish.
What I would recommend, and this is what I did for myself, is when you are ready to think about the possibility of a new relationship, always think about the positive qualities you would like to see.
In your situation I would recommend thinking that the person for you would be loving, kind, compassionate, understanding, funny, sexy, and whatever else your ideal partner would be. 🙂 You see what I mean though about staying on the positive side of what you want. Remember, focus only on what you DO want.
Thanks for reading!
Finally Found Love
Over the last six months I have look strongly at myself and why I have been a single parent for the passed thirteen years. It is a choice I have made. All my life I have been dominated and bossed over sexually and physically abused and for the last thirteen years I have been able to do things for myself without anyone dominating over me in anyway.
I truely love this single life and do not want to step into another domiating relationship again so I am far more aware of what the next relationship will be and what I will not accept in my life anymore.
I have realized what I do not want in my life and I am very happy to go without a man in my life until I find the right man who will not dominate in any way.
I think your Love guide is a great way to help people come to terms with the things in their lives and how to go on forward.