Sipping coffee, on my cousin’s screened deck, I reflected upon our previous day’s conversations, and today’s plans which include a funeral.  A funeral, never a happy planned event, always changes life’s plans.  How honestly we communicate allows real living.

 I thought about how our family communicates.  How honestly sharing, we allow love and happiness and pleasurable, relaxing moments.  When focused on the pain of loss, we feel associated sadness and fear in a tense moment.  We each choose whether to diminish the emotional pain by immediately returning to love and happiness or whether to bury ourselves in another’s pain and hurt.  Why do some handle loss better than others?  Since life changes with the loss of someone (their control on us) let’s look at how emotions affect our lives.

 What are the basics of life?  Why are we here?  What do we human beings offer to life?  What do we take from life?  In this emotional balancing act, you’re either a “What are you getting out of life” (another’s desires dictating your life) or a “Life, be in it!” person (your choices dictate only your life)?  Who would you rather follow?

 Since we are capable of thinking for ourselves we must always do so.  Concentrating on how a situation affects ourselves, and not on how the situation affects another, we find better solutions.  This may seem an odd approach because we often help others to take eyes off ourselves.  Yet, honest self-reflection reveals we rarely solve other’s problems, and if we do we have solved our own. To feel the emotions of love and happiness, necessary to emotional well-being, each must solve problems. 

 Life is an emotional experience.  Love and fear are each contributing emotions, so, we must understand them to receive the gifts of life.  Which emotional state are you drawn to?

 Would you like to change your life in 3 short days?  Great!  You must notice which emotion receives more attention.  On a piece of paper place an l (love) or f (fear) beside each waking hour for 3 days.  Tallying them, you finally understand how you think.  Thinking creates your reality and only you can change your thoughts.  No one else can change your life, not a lover, child, parent, counselor, minister nor political leader.  So, take charge today!

 Deciding or failing to decide, you see through someone else’s eyes of fear or your own eyes of love?  Eyes of fear create warfare while eyes of love allow peace.  Fear is about power and control or the lack of power and control.  Love is about peace and understanding: first for self, then for another, each deserving love, happiness, and peace. We thrive in love and happiness or fail in fear and sadness.

 Attempt to be fair to yourself.  Freedom is only an emotion away and you can celebrate in love and happiness.  Whether you make the choice to be full of love or empty in fear others will experience the same.